Maybe

Maybe my hopes were too high

Maybe I’m the only one who’s in love

Maybe after you know the truth

That I love you so

I would end up crying coz you’d flash your sweetest smile

And tell me

“We’ve been through it all

You helped me all the way

You’re the greatest friend

A person could have,

But that’s just it

We can never be more than that.”

Maybe dreaming is not for me

Maybe I should just stick to reality

Maybe our friendship is better

I might not be happier but

I don’t wanna risk losing it all, and you

Telling me

“We’ve been through it all

You helped me all the way

You’re the greatest friend

A person could have,

But that’s just it

We can never be more than that.”

Or maybe there’s a chance for you and me

But there’s a big chance that it’s just me

Why can’t I tell you that I love you so?

All my energy is put to loving you, but then again,

I don’t wanna risk losing it all, and you

Telling me

“We’ve been through it all

You helped me all the way

You’re the greatest friend

A person could have,

But that’s just it

We can never be more than that.”

We can never be more than just friends,

There’s never us, it’s only you, her, and somewhere far is me.

Aww. Forgot when I made this. Pero 5 minutes ko lang siya na compose. Tsaka, hindi ko na rin maalala yung tono. HAHA.

When a guy…

When a guy talks about you to his friends that often, does he like you?

When a guy suddenly comes out of nowhere when you are in despair, does he care for you?

When a guy consistently annoys you, is he desperate for your attention?

When a guy tells you that he missed you, does he mean it?

When a guy sings for you, does he want to win your heart with his voice?

When a guy hugs you, does he want you to feel that he is warm?

When a guy chooses to sit beside you, does he want to stay there forever?

When a guy smiles often for you, does he want to see your smile as well?

When a guy plays his guitar for you, does it mean he’s serenading?

When a guy leaves you hanging, is he testing if you’ll keep holding on?

When a guy gives effort to keep that smile on your face, does he wish only he can do that?

When a guy keeps knowing things about you, is he that interested in you?

When a guy makes you ask all of these questions,

Are you in love with him?

Are you afraid that you might misinterpret his actions for love?

Or are you hopeful that he loves you as much as you love him?

:D I composed it out of randomness, maybe

Well anyhow, that’s all.

“Let me die still loving, so there’s no death.”

-from a play <3

リセルアルシム

I hate it when people judge others about the way they dress, or how they look in general.

Okaaay. This all started when I noticed how those people in Gateway (in Cubao) gave out pamphlets to selected people. And these selected people are those who looked presentable according to the tastes of those people. They disgust me. I know they pay a sum of money for those pamphlets to be printed out, but I really think they are being judgmental by being really picky of the people they give those out. O.o for all they know, these people which they see as middle-to-low class may be the ones looking for a place to stay. Erk, which is why, whenever they offer me those condominium units, I give out my “no thanks, PLEASE don’t bother me” face. Back in first year, (woah I’m old) I dressed shabbily, well, not shabbily, but a little boyish with a random shirt, denim pants and rubber shoes…well you get the point. :)) I may be a girl but I never acted like one last year. Back to the story, I wondered why I was never given those darn pamphlets, and being a new dork in the city, I’m always curious about those stuffs being offered. Now that I have learned the lady way of dressing up, with skirts, dresses and stuffs like that, and I also learned about ‘casual yet formal’ look of shoes, I finally perfected the mechanics of those condo-selling people. Too bad for them, with my transformation, I also left my dork side, well, aside. :))

The second instance, was when I was in Ricky Reyes in Farmers at Cubao, I said I wanted a haircut, and asked if it can be done in 30 minutes. I ASKED okay? I did not EVEN DEMAND. I just inquired and they said it would take longer than that, so I was like, “oh, okay.” Almost all of them were idle, and no one wanted to entertain me, it was like, “Hey, you do it” “No you” No you!” “Fine.” FINE I’M WEARING A SHIRT, PANTS AND RUBBER SHOES AGAIN, BUT HEY, I HAVE MONEY TO PAY FOR A FUCKING DECENT HAIRCUT. They ill treated me, I ought to not pay them, but I just let it go. I had really great patience back then. I don’t know where that all went though. I think a close person took that all away. I seriously told that person I’ve been keeping to myself all the hatred I had for *insert gender here I won’t give a clue*, and, well, that person didn’t change anyway. It’s *insert gender here* way or no way. Damn. I even..nevermind. That’s another story.

Also, I got really fumed up just a while ago, when I was at Rustan’s in Katipunan. There was this cashier bitch (hahaha~) who was checking out the grocery of this old woman, who (okay I’m being judgmental) looked like a country woman. The cashier bitch scratched her head to show dismay, and packed the grocery of the woman in a very ill-manner. The woman just fixed it herself, and I gave the bitch a poker face look. Good for that bitch I had no energy to fight with her. I just lightly crashed my grocery (since if my water bottle broke, I’d still pay for it lol) in front of her, handed my money in an almost rude manner, rolled my eyes because it took her long enough to give me my change, and hurriedly went out, just to make her experience how it feels like being rudely treated. I don’t know what got into me. I just know, whenever I’m really annoyed at someone, I make sure s/he feels it. And for some reason, no one can really stand it when I’m angry at them, well, maybe because they feel like I can never frown, and they somehow got me to do it. Well yay for them~ But, once I frown, once I’ve cried because of a person, it would be hard to make me forget it, and it would all stay inside of me. It will take more than a million sorry to be fully forgiven by me. (okay enough, XD this post was supposed to be about my outing last Thursday)

Okay. Fshoooooorkkkkkllaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrraaawrrrrrrrrfrigggggg. (lolwut)

Last Wednesday and Friday, we didn’t have class, YAY. :)) But boo for me, I got 24 hour flu. Darn. O.o couldn’t get out of the dorm, I was so friggin tired. =| (And there I was hoping to die already. Oops. I mean, hoping to get well soon. XD)

I don’t remember when I received the text, but I got an invitation for a swimming party , and I didn’t hesitate to say  yes. Well, actually, I did, LOL. Kuya Ervin said, “go or no go?” and I replied “go? Haha.” And he said “punta ka ha! Hehe!” And I said, “okaaay go na go na ako! :))” I’ve been dying to swim for almost a month anyway, my new found friend wanted to go swimming, and so we invited people, and then she became a bitch and no one wants her part of the group anymore, and since she coordinated the swimming party, it didn’t push through. Although I really wanted to swim very badly, even if she’s in the picture, haha. :)) Meanie Rii. :)) Anyway, I really got excited when someone texted me that there’s a swimming party by Thursday. I slept all Wednesday so I won’t be sick anymore in time for swimming. Haha.

Thursday came, and we had our Japanese test in the afternoon. I freaked out so much because I got 34 out of 40, and the remaining 10 points is still in question. O__O It was the essay part, and I got five minutes left before I even started my essay. Darn. I just put there whatever. The direction was to come up with a five sentence essay containing my activities for whatever day. I chose Saturday, placed there utterly random activities like “Have breakfast by 7am, go to school by 9am, have lunch by 12pm, go to NSTP place by 1pm and finally go home by 5pm.” LOL. Well whatever. :)) I was desperate. And I had to write in hiragana/katakana characters, and I’m very slow in writing since I have to think about the characters first, especially katakana. Whenever I’m seriously desperate, like, I forgot what the katakana for “te” was, I just write in romaji. LOL. And if I don’t know the Japanese word for a certain number, I just write the number. Anyway, our teacher accepts it. I think. :)) Damn. Haha.

リセルアルシム　:D Hai. That’s my Japanese name. Haha. :)) my Japanese teacher calls me Rishel. People like to call me Richel. And some retards pronounce my name as Riksel. (bato bato sa langit, tamaan huwag magalit~) Anyway, I’m used to all those mispronunciations. I always tell them “sige lang kahit ano, haha. Sanay na ako. Titingin pa rin ako kahit iba yung pagkakasabi ng name ko. Sa ‘hoy’ at ‘psst’ lang ako hindi lumilingon.” :))

Back to my story, after Japanese class, we had Comm class, and my brother asked me the price of the mini fan of Ateneo, and told me to buy two and meet up with him at Gateway by 6:30pm. Shit. 6pm was the call time for the swimming, if I wanted to go there with someone. I sadly told kuya Ervin that I couldn’t go because of my brother. He asked me if my brother was going to stay in my dorm or is just going to visit, because he knows some people who will also just catch up. Haha. Yay! Good thing he had backup plans, I really wanted to go swimming. At Gateway, my brother and I ate, and he asked me if I wanted to watch a movie, and I said I have a swimming party to attend to. :)) And he was like “okay. =|” Although I was kind of resentful that I turned down probably the first time he asked me to go see a movie. I seldom have brother-sister date with him. =| Unlike my other brother who is always a call/text away. :)) Anyway, I also have prior activity, so I had to choose swimming at the end. I did manage to buy what my brother needed(?) and had dinner with him, so I guess the movie can be postponed. :))

I met up with ate Karen, ate Kim, Sep and Gelo at Mini Stop in Katipunan. We rode a taxi going to the place. It was a Social Adjustment committee outing, but some from the other committees joined as well. :)) *cough*

“Dahil competitive ka, eto ang korona mo! Korona ng tubig~ Korona~ Korona.” Hahaha. :)) We played a lot of games, and I increased my lung power as well. LOL. I challenged myself to swim all the way to the other side of the pool, and I did it. Hahaha. :)) I seriously enjoyed the 7 feet swimming pool because I’ve never attempted to swim into one. O_O It was so amazing. :)) And some people were fascinated by dog paddle, which was probably the only swimming talent I have, besides being able to go underwater for more than 2 minutes or so, Hahaha. :)) And people wanted to learn it as well. Someone told them to just do floating because dog paddle is tiring, which is true. =|

We swam from 10pm to 4am. Actually, by 3 something, I fell asleep by the side of the pool. Yes. Feel asleep. :)) In the stairs. Haha. And when I woke up, I was shaking so hard because I was so cold. I shouldn’t have slept with half of my body immersed in water. Dumb me. :))

Aaaaand when the sun shone, we went home eventually. Fun. :)) I slept all Friday because I was so tired.

I went to visit the shop again last Saturday because I missed the people there. And they were friggin shocked with my new hair and kept calling me “Yung bata oh.” Hahaha. :)) I was supposed to stay there until I drop dead (LOL), but an evil spirit came by, and I just had to go home.

This entry shall compensate for my laziness in the past two weeks. :))

Good morning world. :3

~*~*~Riseru Arushimu~*~*~

P.S.  About the title, I was looking for a white dress for my blockmate Mindy’s debut. Haha. :)) I wanted a white dress because frankly, I don’t have one. Not that I have every color except white, but, I think I kind of want to see myself in white. O.o Even though my skin is dark. I don’t know. Haha. :)) I have a pink ball gown, I used it back in third year prom, then a burgundy one which I used in fourth year. Then a black sort of casual yet sort of formal dress which I used in my seventeenth birthday (HAHA. Sosyal? Trivia: I had a really crappy 16^th birthday, which I call bitter sixteen, because that was the time there was a gang of people who steals the lamanloob |conyo much?| of the people, and my mother won’t let me do any activity outside house, VERY CRAPPY 16^TH BIRTHDAY. To compensate for that, I had an awesome 17^th birthday, many thanks to my older brother. :D March 13 until 14^th, we parteyyd all night long. Haha. And he forced me to finish a can of beer. =| Darn.). Basically, all my dresses were just worn once, and I really want to either sell them or make a cocktail dress out of the ball gowns, and wear them again at someone’s debut. Haha.:)) About the white dress by the way, my mother resolved to just let my tita do it, since I found crappy ones everywhere, and when I finally found a really pretty one, they don’t have it in white. And, well, we all decided that my tita Becky would just copy off the design in white color. It’s cool to have a tita who can make dresses. LOL.

P.P.S. I really suck at blogging now. =|

OMG LJ.! :))


I've missed LJ. Woo. :)) I'm not really THAT busy in school. Just lazy. :))


We just had our second Japanese exam yesterday. I was very optimistic about the outcome of the exam because I still had extra time to check my answers. Let's drink to that, KAMPAII! :)) Well, I got a high grade, but I'm not satisfied. I got 45 out of 50. Apparently, to get an A, you need 46. :)) WHAT THE HELL RIGHT? People are like, "RICCEL YOU GOT A FCKIN B+ OK BE HAPPY" XD I'm not. :<


Well, it's a compensation for my fail first exam. :)) It's not really fail, just, a point above the passing. LOL. That sucks. XD


"Do what you love and fuck the rest."-Aly. LOL. Cute. :))


Anyway, my laziness is lurking again. I'll post weekly. :D Some entries as short as this one. XD

NAME 7 THINGS THAT MUST ALWAYS BE IN YOUR SCHOOL BAG:
1. pencil case
2. pad papers
3. wallet
4. money
5. simple kikay stuffs. LOL (powder and lip balm only o_o)
6. notebook
7. umbrella

Name 3 things you do when you’re really stressed:
1. sleep XD
2. drink a lot of C2 peach :|
3. eat. :))

Name 5 favorite fruits:
1. strawberry
2. watermelon
3. apple
4. mango
5. sunkist

What are you thinking about right now?
..Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone. O_O (..it's a song btw. I know ppl named Romeo, but I'm not interested in them XD)

Where is your phone?
..mobile phone? Nakasabit lagi sa leeg ko. XD

Where do you sleep?
..in teh bed. Pag nasa dorm, sa kwarto ko sa dorm. Pag sa bahay, random. Sa master's bedroom, sa kwarto ko, minsan sa sofa sa sala. XD minsan sa floor, pag occupied yung sofa, pero syempre may parang comforter dun bago ako humiga. XD

Where did you get the shirt you’re wearing now?
..uhh, from the mall?

What was the last thing you ate?
..fish fillet. :|

What kind of cellphone service do you have?
..globe forever amen. XD

What is the closest item near you that is white?
..the wall.

What is the last movie you watched?
..princess diaries pero hindi tapos. Natulugan ko nung Sunday. XD sooo kung tapos dapat, Mulan :3 HAHA. Disney channel shiets for mom's day XD

When did you last feel a tree with your bare hands?
._. feel a wut? Di ko napapansin kung hinahawakan ko ung mga puno eh. :))

THE STRANGE ELEVEN
Eleven odd facts about yourself:

1. Are you photo addict?
..not really. XD

2. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
..taking a bath. XD

3. Do you care for your Friendster?
..no. =))

4. How many different beverages have you drank since yesterday?
..let's see, I drowned myself with C2 apple, drank water.. 2. :D

5. What are three things you hate?
..xxxx <--newchii's version (i mean, yung kilala ni newchii na xxxx, not her LOL), the idea that I'm studying while summer, and myself. :D

6. What do you wish for?
..i wish everyone was sensitive enough to know when to be UBER sensitive and insensitive. (teka, kahit ako yata nalito doon). Fck that. I wish for lots of money, lots of clothes, and a straight hair for myself. :)) Oh. I wish I wasn't wearing glasses too. -.-

7. When was the last time you got really hurt?
..if physically, nadapa ako sa bahay nung Sunday, May 10, HAHAHAHA. While trying to relocate my pc's..uhh..location. Emotionally, well, last Sunday din, don't ask why, mentally, sumakit yung ulo ko sa ITM class kanina, although I got a plus 6 yay me okay na masakit yung ulo. XD ayun lang. :D

8. Any plans for tonight?
..sleep.

9. Something you are excited about?
..Saturday! :D

10 . What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?
..vanilla <3

11 . Describe your keychains?
..strawberry from my brother. wait wut. I mean he gave the strawberry keychain to me, from Baguio. Fux. Nasira yung image ng strawberry sa utak ko dahil sa Kokology. :))
———————————-
1. Do you know anyone in prison?
..no. :|

2. If so, who?
..dumdum. wala nga eh.

3. Party girl/boy or Home girl/boy?
..middle :D

4. Have you ever gotten naked at a party?!
..err no. I did find a shirt in a party once, which was disturbing. LOL.

Paper bags and plastic hearts
All are belongings in shopping carts
Its goodbye
But we got one more night
Lets get drunk and drive around
And make peace with this empty town
We can make it right

Throw it away
Forget yesterday
Well make the great escape
We wont hear a word they say
They dont know us anyway
Watch it burn
Let it die
Cause we are finally free tonight

How can i decide what`s right?
When you`re clouding up my mind
I can`t win your losing fight,
All the time

How can i ever own what`s mine,
When you`re always taking sides
But you won`t take away my pride,
No not this time
Not this time

• Sa panahon ngayon, ang pagligo ay isang pagsubok.

• Bago ako umiyak, bumili daw ako ng fishbowl na maliit. Dun ko ibuhos ang kalungkutan ko, TENEN! May saltwater na! Fish na lang kulang! :D

• Pag malungkot ka, napapaisip ka bigla sa tungkol sa silbi ng buhay.

• HUWAG NA HUWAG maglaro kapag stressed. May maaaway ka, magagalit siya, aawayin ka, magagalit ka, tapos malulungkot ka. (lol. for pet XC)

• Put me up, put me down, put my feet back on the ground. Put me up, take my heart and make me happy. (HAHAHAHA. my pikachu plushie sings this song)

• Sa mundo ng online games, kapag babae ang character mo, popormahan ka ng lalaking character. Hihingin ang friendster at ym mo, tapos kapag wala kang binigay, automatic chiksilog ka na agad. (Ayos. XD)

• May discrimination daw sa mundo ng online games. Ang sexist daw, kasi feeling ng buong mundo, lalaki lang talaga ang mahilig mag games. Sige nga, bigyan mo ako ng term para sa babaeng naglalaro ng lalaking account? Bakit yung lalaking naglalaro ng babaeng account chiksilog?

• Dapat mag - aral na daw ako imbes na gumagawa ng blog entry ngayon.

• Mag - aral daw muna ako bago maglaro. Pero, dahil hindi ako naglalaro, iniwan na niya ako sa ere. Ok so alam kong inaway kita pero, sabi mo rin di na ako naglalaro kaya iniwan mo ko. Pakshet. ANO BA TALAGA XXXX?! (LOL. hush~ Rii chan~)

• Hindi daw niya alam kung bakit yung post ko na ito ay parang umiikot na lang sa mundo ng paglalaro ko.

• Itigil ko na daw ito bago ako maloka.

• Naloloka na daw talaga ako ngayon.

• LOL.

During vacation, my brain wanders off somewhere unreachable for me. So yeah, Medyo gulay ako ngayon dahil walang laman yung ulo ko. Wahaha~ m(>~<)v


I'm reading this manga Dei Ecchi Ei (uhh, don't get me wrong. Pag naghahanap kasi ako ng babasahin, I scroll up and down the list and click randomly. Haha~ And besides, yung manga naman may mahalay na point lang pag napupurify yung guy, LOL. Yung mga demon girls biglang nawawalan ng clothes. Which is really weird.) I really like it because of the weird plot it has. I want to read volume 3 already ;o; I so hate cliffhangers. x.x


Ugh, I've been meaning to visit my old school, but I always ALWAYS feel lazy because I don't want to visit it alone. :( Anyway, I only have one intention for going >:] and that is to make my 4th year teachers pay for not giving me an extra 0.05 to get red eagle awardee ehem. Okay, so I'm still bitter about that. *sourgraping* And, well yeah, to see if people still knows me. I mean, I'm always the forgettable one because I'm so quiet and all. XD Well, not anymore. Haha! I love it when I was asked one time, "What are your achievements ever since you stepped here in Ateneo?" Me: Oh, I got a little loud all of a sudden. LOL. They thought I was weird for having such a low achievement. Well, that's just me. =P


Anyway, maybe I'll visit the school by Nov 3 :( who would want to go to school without the ones you'd like to torture being there? Only the ones who would like to burn the school atleast. XD


Oh oh! Continuation to my story last(?) time.


-------
Lately, B has been really good to me, but guess what? I found out he's really like that, a little arrogant yet charming. I thought I loved him once. But I guess it was just the time when I wasn't getting any luck from A, and B was really good to me. Anyway, out of nowhere, some girl I know says she likes B. Let's name her V. And I think they have this mutual love for each other, atleast according to V. I don't know why, but that hurt me a little, but that hurt went off by just a minute. I saw my guy friend C along the hallways. Must I tell you something about him? He's just my college-love-at-first-sight. Haha~ CLAFS for short. Kidding.

So how the hell did he enter this story again? I really don't know. I don't even know myself anymore. Through this worthless sembreak, I have come to realize something: I'm just joking myself for loving A (although I have given much of my time for him, and talk about those..err, nevermind) I think I misunderstood my heartbeats. I'm  such a stupid teenager. I know that during this stage, you feel really hot and fall in love easily. And now that I have arranged my thoughts, I think I'm really falling all over for C again. xo

-------


Err. o.o


Oh, I've been playing Harvest moon lately, like maybe 3 weeks already, and I was wondering how your character would get a baby. LOL. My character got married already and I wouldn't stop playing until I get that friggin baby. LOL. I want to see how it looks like. x3 Like having the desire to see how the marriage would go. LOL. And when you finally get 100 notes. Haha~ I know there's youtube and all, but it's better knowing that you achieved it yourself. =P


anyway, I think I should stop telling you nonsense stuffs. x.x


Bye now. (^~^)v